


If Cullen was a father

by AA_S



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 19:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AA_S/pseuds/AA_S
Summary: These are drabbles that I wrote back when I still had a Cullen roleplaying account. Most Sundays I'd get a meme about Cullen being a dad, so I saved them before deleting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Cullen is presented with a slightly charred stuffed nug. "Ser Pinky caught on fire, da. I think that.../I/ did it, by thinking it, but I don't know how..." the child trailed off as she watched her father's face. She seems to be torn between excitement and fear, and is counting on him to decide which is right."
> 
> This and future stories are written with the thought of Cullen having been written with more development in Inquisition, having seen the faults of the system and the suffering of others from previous years (especially with Meredith).

Cullen stares, his mouth hung open. The girl’s expression begins turning, and she looks like she might cry. Cullen snaps out of his own head and before any tears drop, scoops her up in his arms to take her somewhere more private. 

“Sshh, I–I will try to explain, my love." 

He closes the door and sits, her in his lap. 

"It…..was you. You did this.” He waves a hand at the nug. “But, if you tell anyone, like Vivienne, she will….take you to a Circle. And,” he makes a choked up noise and tries to compose himself. “I may never see you again. Or, at least, communication will be….limited." 

"I don’t want to go!” She protests. 

“I don’t want you to go either. Da needs time to….think on what comes next. Until then, you cannot…tell anyone. Is that clear?" 

She nods her head frantically, a fear washing over her. He wished he could lift that fear from her. 

"If another accident like this happens, you need to come to me immediately and tell me what happened. Yes?" 

More nodding. He hugs her tight, smooths her hair from her face and places a kiss upon her forehead.

"I love you, my dear. You have been given a gift from the Maker. But people can be afraid of things they think are unpredictable." 

Whether she understands his vagueness, he doesn’t know. He forces a smile, for her. Places a finger on the tip of her nose, which makes her giggle. 

"I have an idea,” She’s listening. “Take Ser Pinky to Iron Bull." 

”THE Iron Bull, Da.“ 

"Yes, yes, The Iron Bull. And show him the scorch marks. Tell him you fought a dragon, and only barely escaped with your skin! Ser Pinky is your proof." 

She looks fit to burst with giggles as she clutches Ser Pinky, a big grin spread across her face. He puts her on her feet and pats her back. 

"You’re dismissed, love. Go show them your strength in battle." 

He can hear her yelling Iron Bull’s name the moment she leaves. He slumps in his seat with a sigh. He’ll talk to. Leliana, perhaps, about this. 

He has to do something. He knows that while the intention of the Chantry is good, the current system for it is bad. He will not allow her to be taken in by a system that is bound to the thought that Mages are second class citizens. 

It’s not allowed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Da.. I can't sleep.. Can you tell me a story?"
> 
> Prince is the name I gave to the bird referenced in this banter between Cullen and Leliana (Or specifically, Cullen's messenger and Leliana): https://youtu.be/L1y3tXV7tkE?t=4m48s

“Hhmm…..” Cullen gestures for the child to climb up onto the bed with him. She lays on the arm he left outstretched, and he curls it around her. 

“Let me think……” He says as he pulls up the blankets. His room at Skyhold unfortunately lacked a complete ceiling, so cold drafts were common.   
For a minute all his life passed by him, and all the terrible things he could tell her. But he shook his head. 

“Who would you like? The Hero, or the Champion?" 

"You, da." 

He looks surprised at such an answer. She’d never asked him to tell a story about himself, before. He had to attribute it to the fact that she was old enough to realize he worked and did things. 

"I don’t have any good exciting stories about myself. Not stories like the ones about the Hero or the Champion." 

"Dddaaaa………” She pleaded lightly. 

“Alright, alright. Well. This isn’t really about me, per se," 

"Ddddaa." 

"It will still be a good story, I promise. Have you heard of the Golem of Honnleath? One day, it disappeared!” He raises one hand in an attempt at a suspenseful gesture. It works; her mouth opens in surprise. 

"Where did it go?!“ 

"They say, the Hero of Ferelden brought the Golem back to life, to fight for her! And that to this day, the Golem wanders the Ferelden countryside, many birds left in its wake." 

She looks scandalized by this. "Birds? The Golem likes to kill birds?” She takes a look at the bird in Cullen’s room who is currently preening. 

"But, Prince!!! I don’t want the Golem to squish him!!“

"The Golem is not going to squish him. I think, maybe it doesn’t like birds because it may have been awake all that time it had to stand in the village." 

"Is the Golem angry because the birds pooped on it?" 

Cullen laughs. "Very possible conclusion, love."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Da, what's a knife-ear? They said baba is one, so am I one too?"
> 
> "Baba" in many languages is another term for a parent. This drabble assumes Cullen's partner is an Elf.

His expression is stern and serious the moment the words leave her lips. 

“Who called him that?” He puts his hands on her shoulders and squeezes firmly. 

“It is a word ignorant people use for Elves. Don’t let anyone call you that." 

The little girl frowns, opens her mouth, which Cullen responses to her unspoken question: 

"Yes, do whatever you feel is right. Punch them if necessary. You are yourself and never let anyone strip you of that by trying to simplify you for their benefit. You are so much more than that, my love."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> With a wail, the child ran at his father, thumped into his legs and clung tightly. "I don't want you to go," he sobbed, "What if you don't come back?"

He laughed lightly, not in mocking but to fill the spot where his smile should be. He cannot smile; his child was too smart for his own good, and he nearly wished they still had the ignorance to not think on the topic of death. 

“…..Do you believe in me?” He spoke softly. 

Cullen picks his son up, brushing his hair away from his face. 

The child nodded, though it was obvious they were going to start up again. 

“But—" 

”I know.” 

He tilts his head and lightly bumps their foreheads together. It is a way of intimacy Cullen’s always found comforting. 

"I will do everything in my power to return to you." 

“But what if—” 

"…..There will always be buts." 

His voice wavers and he holds his son tighter. 

"I’m sorry." 

His son clings to him and he returns the feeling. He cannot guarantee his return; if he did, if he……didn’t come back, his son would only be more betrayed. He would not do that. Cullen would not imply a message that read, “I do not care about you so I did not fight hard enough to return”. 

"I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Daddy... why do all these men keep making eyes at you? You're married, right?"

“Um…..” He coughed into his fist awkwardly. “I-I am, yes,” It seemed his child was perceptive enough to realize that ‘making eyes’ had some sort of connection to ‘marriage’. He blessed their perceptiveness but not in this instance. 

“People may like others, but that doesn’t mean they must like them back. I am married and I’ll be staying that way, regardless of whether…..people,” 

He coughs into his fist. 

“Make eyes at me or not. It’s nothing to worry about."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Papa, what's a 'tea-winter'?"

“Tea-Winter?” He raises a brow, trying to decipher that. 

“There is tea for winter, many people like peppermint—” 

The child said the word again and it was obvious they weren’t talking about tea. 

"Give me a moment,” He sat, said the word to himself a few times under his breathe before it…..

“Tea-winter….teawinter….! Tevinter, you meant?" 

The child nodded vigorously. 

"It’s a people. A Tevinter is a person from Tevinter. They live far north. I’m sure there’s a map in the library you could find. Maybe. Andraste knows I know nothing of the organization or the contents of that room."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "You won't eat me, lion!" she yells, brandishing a toy sword at her father. "Back, back!"

“Rrwwooaarrrr!" 

The Commander is on his hands and knees in his child’s room, his lion helm on as he roars like the animal depicted on it. Their getting close to the finale; the child drew their sword, lunged at him, he’d backed up, ‘clawed’, roared. 

They were now at the final face off, circling around, trying to find an opening—

The lion lunges, and takes the child down to the floor. Very softly. With lots of giggling. 

"Dadddyyyy nnnoooo, lions don’t tickle!!" 

"Isn’t that what they do with their claws?” He jokingly replies, grinning as he tickles her. 

“Hhhiii—yyaaa!” Announces the child, and the sword goes through Cullen. 

“Through”. 

Under his arm pit, actually. 

“Aaarrgghhhh!” He makes a long exasperated noise and falls backward, tongue lolling out. 

“I win!” She stands triumphantly, even going so far as to put a small foot upon Cullen’s chest. She lets herself have the moment, then quickly loses interest. 

“Da? Wake up, I didn’t really kill you." 

“Oh, you didn’t?” 

"No, you’re okay.” The child removes Cullen’s helmet and sits on his chest. 

“You’re a very good lion slayer.” 

“I know.” She says matter of fact. 

“Would you like to come with me so that you may instruct the recruits?” 

“Yes.” She stands, crossing her arms with an exaggerated stern expression, attempting to copy the way Cullen always looks when instructing.   
“That’s a shield in your hand, block with it!” She says this as angrily and sternly as a little girl can muster, before trying to run out of the room. 

“Come back here, little one, you need a coat.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Da...I had a nightmare..."

Cullen sits up at the sound of little pattering against the floors, and the loud attempt at whispering to him. The child crawls across the bed, under the covers, and sprawls across his lap. 

“A nightmare? I see. Did you win?" 

"No…..” The child says, fists wrapped up in Cullen’s shirt. They were wide-awake. He pets their hair in long slow strokes, trying to calm them. 

“….What happened?" 

"I couldn’t breathe….I died.” A small whimpering escapes them. 

“Can you breathe for me, darling?" 

They did as asked, though they looked pained, as if they might open their mouth to do it and have their dream come back for them. But, they breathed. 

"There you are. See? You’re fine." 

"I’m dead." 

"No, dead things don’t breathe." 

"……I’m a plant." 

"….Darling, while that’s an interesting counter, plants are alive. They breathe to." 

"But they don’t have mouths!" 

"They breathe differently, but their alive and they breathe." 

"…….Desk." 

"Desk?”

“Pen.”

“Pen? Oh stop this, you’re just naming things now.” He rubs their shoulders and back. 

“You’re fine now. You’re nightmare wasn’t real—it was trying to hurt you, but you woke up and…..won." 

"Mmm…….” The child rubs at their eyes with their fists; it’s obvious the tiredness has fallen over them once again. 

“Da…?”

“Yes, you may sleep with me, tonight." 

Cullen adjusts in the bed so that he wouldn’t be sitting up anymore, and so that the child could lay across him. He continues petting them until he hears the soft rhythmic breathing of their sleeping.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> *muffled giggling beneath the hem of his cloak*

His face was stern, his forearm resting on the sword on his belt. He stood before the Inquisition’s army and had been drilling them. 

Then the giggling came, and all eyes drew down, a profound silence coming over all. Even in their armor they stilled. 

Even if he wanted to, he could not help it, and his cheeks flared in a blush. 

“Darling,” He tried to whisper at the child, but the only reaction that came of that was the little girl shifting, as if she could truly hide from him at this point. 

He’d have to step out. With a clearing of his throat (his gaze veered to the left and his blush was deepening), he left his men to work on their own. 

He walked slow, so that little feet wouldn’t trip from under his cloak. She followed right along behind him, little giggles flowing out of her. He knew; she felt clever, and hidden, even though for all outside they could see clearly her little feet trotting along. 

“Now, where could my little lion be?" 

Soft giggles. 

"I thought I’d heard her just a moment ago!" 

They grew louder. 

"What will I tell her—" 

"I’m here, I’m here daddy!" 

She jumped out, hopping up and down, triumphant that she tricked him. Cullen picked her up and twirled her around, both of them laughing now. 

"Come now, dear. You’ve shown how clever you are, tricking me and the instructor. Time to get back to your lessons." 

She groaned, and he smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 
> 
> "Daddy. Daddy, are they going to take me away? I didn't mean to set the roses on fire, I didn't mean it! I don't want to leave, Daddy, please don't make me! The other kids said you would because you used to be a templar, but I don't want to go!"
> 
> This is the last one! Bit of a remix of the first, I realize. I hope you've all enjoyed!

“You what?”

He stared at the weeping child, processing this before he leaned down and picked them up. There was always the possibility, what with his oddly singular and not anything that he was aware of, attraction to Mages. It was no wonder he’d wed a Mage. And there’d been the chance his child would be one too. 

And they were. 

His first panic driven thought was to tell this child in his arms that they were moving to Tevinter, that night. But that was idiocy at its worse. Tevinter had plenty of problems, and just because they’re Mages ruled didn’t mean it was a good or safe or honest place. 

Cullen pet their hair and rocked them in his arms while they wept. It pained him to see them so upset. His time in the Inquisition had helped him learn and understand the terribleness that was the system between Mages and Templars. 

To think he’d once said that, ‘Mages aren’t like you and me.’ . To think he’d strip them of being people at all in his head in his youth, no more than monsters to him, and now he held his own Mage child. His child who came weeping to their father, ashamed and upset for being themselves. 

He took a seat, sat them on his lap and pressed their foreheads together. 

"I’m not going to take you away anywhere, my love. You—” He stopped short. To promise the first thing was already a high thing to promise. He might not take them away, but others might. The other children will tell their parents, their parents may tell the Templars. And they may come. 

He wanted to reassure them that they were loved and wanted. He wanted to tell them they weren’t going anywhere that he wasn't. There was a lump in his throat and he couldn’t get the words out. Whatever happened next had to be drastic, he knew. Disproportionate systems of power did not change in a single year, or five or even ten. The quality of the Circles of Magi in Thedas may stay as bad as they were when he was young, by the time his child is old. 

Cullen could feel the prickling of tears at his eyes over his frustration with this situation. Why was it so hard to reassure his child that everything would be okay? 

He hugged them and rubbed their back soothingly, so they wouldn’t see him cry. Though perhaps the child hugged him back a tad tighter when their father shook from silently weeping. 

“I love you.” He says to his child, and rocks them in his arms.


End file.
